Silver Age Shenanigans!

The Amazing Story Of Superman Red And Blue

Second Weird Post!

When we last left our story Superman had been split of into two beings, Red and Blue, in a freak perm accident. Using their powers of plot convenience they completely solved both the uppity bastards in Kandor's problems, therefore getting them out of Superman's place, and the merfolk of Atlantis' problem of being anywhere near stinking humans. Now will they continue to solve everything in a page or two tops?

Where else would we be if they didn't?

Blue, these things look ray too much like death rays....

Oh where to start with this page.  Well there's the mermaids calling their planet Hyrda, which may be fitting because this story is also about a multi headed monster. Or the fact that Superman Red and Blue are brainwashing everyone in the world! And of course it's evil Blue who comes up with the idea fist. Also apparently this will make animals not eat each other, the lions are going to be extinct I guess. 

You thought I was kidding about 1984 didn't you?! 

I don't think that ray worked on the guy in blue in the bottom right panel. He seems confused 

And so piece was achieved veer global lobotomy. And Premier, I understand your heart has been forcefully inserted into the right place but it dumping radioactive materials really the right way- sir, sir! Of course when the Soviets(?) have missiles it's evil. Bet the Americans got to keep their's. And if you've induced pure peach and altruism do you really need to put them back in jail? And wow that must've been a hell of a break out.

Also wouldn't baddies just start hurling rocks or something at Earth from far away. At least when it was an invasion force you could've surrendered. This brainwashing has gone too far, save us Superman! Oh wait.

Think we should test the mysterious serum made by the ex evil mad man before dumping it in the water supply?

Those poor stupid aliens would fall for every interstellar con job forever more. Anyway this reminds me of that Two Knights song, with the maidens. Guess that make Lex the Maidens eww. Oh I think I'm suppressing something....

AN ANTIBIOTIC ONLY WORKS ON BACTERIAL CONDITIONS HOW DID YOU GO YOUR WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT EVEN ACCIDENTALLY LEARNING ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell, were antibiotics like brand new back then so everyone thought they were magic like radiation? Or is the comic suggesting that Lex has discovered everything from Down's Syndrome to broken bones are caused by a bacteria? If so that's the stupidest thing in the world but I also wonder what happens when the ensuing generations of bacteria develop resistances.

Oh and the hair thing is more significant then you'd think with your puny sane brain. Lex in the Silver Age was evil mostly because he was bald, because of a chemical accident when he was young. Yeah no humanistic desire to see alien influence on humanity crushed, no real power lust, just his hair. Also why didn't he just make up the *sigh* anti biotic, before for his exclusive use? 

 Yeah this really needed to be separated into acts!

Why the hell is he calling his sister by her full name? Her fake full name at that. Oh and they're trying for suspense again, Supermen why can't you remember the brain rape anti evil ray you just set up this morning? 

This last act bought to you by the FLDS! 

Clark Kent(s) looks so smug in this. Also a moral dilemma by 60's standards, which stupid fairy tale ending is more fairy tale. Also Supergirl, you never stood on Krypton. You were born and raised on a floating hunk of Krypton hurtling through space. Also didn't you have adoptive parents by now? 

Normally I as a sane person would not find that kiss the least bit creepy, it's obviously meant to be platonic... But Superman said he wanted to marry her once. 

Oh look the Legion Of Superheroes is here to punish the Supermen for brutally warping the timeline and destroying their version of the future. Or maybe give Supergirl a lift I don't know. Also they act like she can never regain her powers, despite the fact all she has to do is leave New Krypton's solar system to enjoy them. She could come over on weekends for super powered benders. The space ship thing might have been a dilemma if it wasn't for the fact in the time it takes you to process this word right here Superman could've had a ship designed, built, launched and landed. 

How long until the freaking group marriage, several weirdos are probably only here for this.   

That horse wanted to sleep with Supergirl. How did that ever get published?

Wow that stupid ray can affect humans and every phylum, taxon, class and species on Earth, robots, aliens and now things not even made out of real matter. 

You know what I refuse to believe the ray actually affected Mr Mxyzptlk-sorry spell check melted, still yeah I bet those statues came to life and started wrecking shit a week later. 

And as for the wife thing... flip a coin, alternate weekly?

"An ironic twist of fate" aren't we clever ha ha!

This scene makes me wonder about Clark's spiritual beliefs. Clearly he believes in some form of luck or fate but is there anything more to that? 

Any way if the lightning had melted those Ls the right way this would've ended with both of them marrying Jimmy. And if they're the same man shouldn't they want the same woman?

You know they could accidentally wear each other's costumes one day and we might never know who is who again...

If I was Clark(s) I would've had Bruce Wayne come and be me again and then when I reveal the trick, reveal Red or Blue or whoever is not me. It'd be the greatest double jape ever. 

I predict many a weird key party. 

I think the fact that Clark and Clark get married in their costumes and everyone's okay with this says a lot about all their psyches.

This is like those fanfics written after series finales where the bitter authors thinks up lame solutions to her pet peeves and pairs everyone up.  Hey does marriage count as a super power because if so Jimmy's got it, take a shot. 

Does nobody just use a space ship?!

Considering how the Silver Age Lois Lane was an evil harpy I wouldn't be surprised if this was a way of luring her to Krypton to get her killed from the gravitational stress.  And Superman Blue looks so damn self satisfied  probably because now he is Earth's most powerful being nothing can stop him. Also I think they forgot the dog's suit! Krypto, from whatever year he was born in to whatever year this is in, RIP. 

Also they seem to not remember they can just come back and visit. Though Lois back then was a colossal melodrama. Bet they're back for the weekend barbecue. 

You were right Blue this Skynet thing is working out great!

Ah robot slaves, life is good. Red has the face of a man filled with nothing but regret and hasn't taken of his pyjamas in four years. And they maybe happy the twins are growing up without super powers but I bet those two are pissed. 

To answer your question last panel I see differing but in the end mostly the same strains of unhappiness engulfing these two couples. 

Tune In Next Time, Same Super Internet, Same Super Blog, For The Girl Who Wouldn't Believe In Superman... Or The Really Stupid Girl!